From The Guardian April 2004
Where there's smoke
I have just been cleaning my 14-year-old son's room,and found a couple of spliffs hidden in his drawer. He recently asked if he could put a lock on his door and his father and I acquiesced, albeit reluctantly, because we believe that young adults deserve their own privacy. Now I am regretting the decision and want to take the lock off the door, but his father says that we can not renege on our agreement, and that a couple of spliffs is not the end of the world. He reminds me that we both smoked plenty of the stuff in our day, and that is true - but we were older and living in a different time. What should I do?
Name and address withheld
Remove the lock at once and tell your son that it was to ensure privacy not criminality. Then tell your husband to wake up and live in the world as it is today and not when he was a hippy. Cannabis is more powerful and more contaminated these days and 14-year-olds who use it are endangering their health, as plenty of medical studies show. Try and find out where your son got his spliffs and tell the head if it was a schoolfriend or the police if it was an adult.
Young adults deserve privacy, as you say, but young idiots do not and any father who ignores such activity is a blinking idiot himself.