Catholic gays who stick to Church teaching may have more to suffer than the rest of us Part One

Stuart Reid has started a very interesting debate (click here to join in) on whether some homosexuals are dealt a tougher hand of cards than the rest of us. Stuart Reid received a letter from an anonymous Catholic homosexual where the man politely rebuked Stuart Reid. Reid had previously written that some homosexuals form ‘a rich and privileged minority.’ Here I reproduce most of the letter sent to Reid:
“… I can’t for the life of me understand why you think that some homosexuals are ‘a rich and privileged minority’. Often the opposite is true. I, for example, am not rich. I live a rather empty and lonely life, never fully able to be who I am, for, yes, I encounter prejudice often (especially at church). I will never have the privilege of fathering children, or of having a loving relationship…
“Many ‘gays’ such as myself go to church and try to lead a good (and chaste) life. I try to live by the precepts of the Church I love.
“It is quite hurtful when our priests talk of ‘the evil of homosexuality’ in the same breath as abortion, prostitution, etc, as if there are no ‘gays’ in the congregation at all! As I am sure you are aware, finding oneself homosexual is not a choice, whereas these other situations are avoidable…
“Some time ago, one of your articles made mention of an outrageously dressed individual in a post office queue. You assumed he was ‘gay’. But in my experience, gay men usually dress quite conservatively, and often with a more pronounced masculinity than is usual. I am sure, for instance, you may have passed me at the 9am Mass [traditional Latin] at the Oratory, as I’m there every week, but I suspect that I blend in with the other traditional Catholics in my sombre jacket and tie…
“But to finish, please take care what you say – there are more people of ‘homosexual orientation’ in the Church than I think you realise. Meanwhile enjoy your privilege of children and grandchildren, and the privilege of acceptance by all.”
Stuart Reid finishes with this comment: “self-denying homosexuals – homosexuals who try to live by the Church’s teaching – often have a lot more to mourn and weep about than the rest of us.”
PS – I think the anonymous man who wrote to Stuart Reid has made some London Oratory excellent points.  And I applaud his bravery in writing so sincere a letter. This man did not choose his orientation, but chooses to live by Church teaching whereby he does not engage in homosexual acts. And there is something to be learned here – we may not condemn an individual on the basis of his/her sexuality. 
PPS - I will be careful in selecting which comments to publish.


  1. Is it hurtful when priests talk about the evil of homosexuality? Good! If a sermon is making you uncomfortable, that means that it’s working. What is the point of a priest preaching against sins that his parishioners don’t actually commit? There are priests I know who have made it their speciality (and I’m not making this up) to preach against the evils of Jansenism. Why, exactly? There may, for all I know, be Jansenists all over the place. But I’ve never met one and they don’t seem to have a website.

    But what does this man think is the natural tendency of a church in which the priest only preaches against outsiders and never mentions the sins of his parishioners (or indeed his own)? Where is the Church as a whole going, when priests think it is their job (quite literally, in some cases) to make their parishioners think and feel that they are good people and everyone outside is bad, or bigoted, or unenlightened, or un-Christian? Churches full of Pharisees who smugly imagine that they’re Publicans?

    This man claims that homosexuals don’t have a privileged status, and yet he claims just such a status for homosexuality, saying that it is different from prostitution and abortion in that homosexuals don’t choose to be homosexuals. Does he really believe that prostitutes want to be prostitutes? Does he really think young girls who’ve got themselves into trouble want to have abortions? His utter inability to see these matters the points of view of other people is quite chilling.

    And why exactly is this man unable to have children or a loving relationship? Has he even tried? If he wants to combat prejudice, surely the most important for him to combat are his prejudices about himself!

  2. God blesses very dearly the soul that is given a cross such as this,who lives a chaste and holy life! God is most merciful to those most in need of His unfathomable mercy! I know that my brother and sister, two of eight children in my family,have been "uncomfortable in their own skin" since childhood. This is a certain agony that so many suffer with, that the rest of us know nothing about. Love is what "restores all things in Christ.." Never condone anyone's sin-but ALWAYS LOVE the sinner.(which includes ourselves:)

  3. omg Oliver! Homosexuality isn't evil, sodomy is! being homosexual is not a choice, it's like saying I am a good man because I'm straight! well you are not a good man because of orientation, you are not working to preserve orientation, you preserve chastity...this man is better than most men, having to endure that, and not engaging in sexual acts! half the "Catholic or Christian straight men" I know probably have some girl somewhere pregnant by now! I applaud this man! God Bless Him!

  4. I'm gay, too, and I live by God's Word and teaching :)

    What's important for me is that I know that God loves me for who I am, no matter what :)


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